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worshiptheband:

IM SORRY MY MENSTRUATION HAS ANNOYED YOU ILL TRY AND KEEP IT BOTTLED UP NEXT TIME


just-that-one-tomboy:

pearlcrystalgem:

travellingcompanionstephrogers:

chafing-nipples:

modmad:

nooby-banana:

becauseimdavefuckinstrider:

jim fucking carrey

jim fucking carrey

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I love Jim Carrey. I once met him in a 7/11, and I was getting a soda, I turned and saw it was him, and he saw I was going for a Doctor Pepper, so he said “Oh did you want one of these”, to which I stuttered out a yes and he grabbed all of them and said “too bad” and brought them up to the front. Then he bought his stuff and left the sodas there, and left. Almost immediately after, he ran back in and began putting the sodas back and paid for mine.

This is what happens when Candians are let lose and try to prank people

I

o


sofiaauditores:

making a typo in a very long tag

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mapoftheunintended:

spankmehardbarry:

on the dick like

I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE


12-gauge-rage:

Video game glitches in real life.


journalisticjoe:

She’s wearing out the tambourine AND killing the footwork, this is next level praising!


zohbugg:

mydrunkkitchen:

tyleroakley:

"Girl Speaks Gibberish With Perfect Accents To Show What Languages Sound Like To Foreigners"

I love this? 

I ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW WHAT AMERICAN ENGLISH SOUNDS LIKE TO OTHER PEOPLE.


pantydragon:

it-was-justified:

sassmaster-arjay:

undeadcosmicunicorn:

Impulse - $6.99

Buy me all of them

One of these is my surname

please tell me it’s “Space Cadet”


benedicts-doublechins:

Okay so a guy held a door open and as I was walking I thought in my head ’ thanks mister attractive face” and then he giggled and I realized it wasN’T IN MY HEAD AND HE JUST KEPT GIGGLING LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD


krocatoo:

Having to google internet slang your friend is using because you have no idea what the fuck it means.

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thirsty-pocket:

What facebook feels like on ur birthday.

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penandpage:

itssexualhour:

so my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying the other day and we did the whole “professor and bad student who needs to pass” thing, only he wanted to be the professor, so I had to be the horny and failing student. I’m the valedictorian of my senior class of 400 and I have a horrible phobia of flunking, so when he whispered “you’re failing my class, you naughty girl” in my ear, I started crying and we had to stop